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Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love We've heard songs about it, seen it in the movies, heard it talked about on Oprah by relationship experts, and read about it in thousands of self help books. But, what is unconditional love? We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack of unconditional love is the cause of most of our anger and confusion. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for unconditional love is just as great as our physical need for air and food. It is especially unfortunate, then, that most of us have no idea what unconditional love really is, and we prove our ignorance with our horrifying divorce rate, the incidence of alcohol and drug addiction in our country, the violence in our schools, and our overflowing jails. Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good”—people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior. So what’s wrong with conditional love? We see it everywhere we look, so what could be wrong with it? Imagine that every time you pay me fifty dollars, I tell you I love you. We could do that all day, but at the end of the day would you feel loved? No, because you’d know that I “loved” you only because you paid me. We simply can’t feel fulfilled by love we pay for. We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. The instant we do anything at all to win the approval or respect of other people—with what we say, what we do, how we look—we are paying for the attention and affection we receive, and we can’t feel genuinely loved. A New Definition of Love: Real Love There’s only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or true love. It is unconditional love that we all seek, and somehow we intuitively realize that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all—it’s an imitation of the real thing. Unconditional love—true love—is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name—Real Love—and definition of its own: Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. Under those conditions we’re just paying for love again. We can be certain that we’re receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine. What we Do Without Real Love: Imitation Love If we don’t have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment—money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, power, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, and although Imitation Love feels good for a moment, it never lasts and never gives us the feeling of genuine happiness that Real Love provides. Most people spend their entire lives trying to fill their emptiness with Imitation Love, but all they achieve is an ever-deepening frustration, punctuated by brief moments of superficial satisfaction. All the unhappiness in our lives is due to that lack of Real Love and to the frustration we experience as we desperately and hopelessly try to create happiness from a flawed foundation of Imitation Love. The beauty of Real Love is that it ALWAYS will eliminate our anger, confusion, and pain. So how do we find this universal cure?![]() Definitions of LoveDefining love would be like defining an 'ocean'. Every time you take a plunge into the ocean you are bound to find something new and novel. This is because of the human psyche which is different for different individuals. What could be said to apply to one may fail in case of some other individual. But there exist some common threads which bind people in love. Some such tenets which help while defining love are: Love is all about acceptingAccepting is an unconditional mutual agreement between the two individuals in a relationship. It could be said that acceptance is about labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change them. Love means appreciating Appreciation is the next step to acceptance. It is about coming to terms you're your relationship and your partner. True love ![]() A good relationship comes about when you come to terms with your likes about the other person in the relationship. Love is wanting and making another person feel goodIn the case of true love, both partners try and strive to make things happy for the other. Love is about being unconditional in nature Make love unconditional in nature and only then would it have the best of foundations to becoming a long and lasting relationship. Love is about imparting a sense of security to your relationshipSo, for a successful relationship, it is always better that you contribute the maximum and make your partner feel secure about the relationship. Love is about ignoring the trifle little detailsIf you come across little things that irritate you about your partner, then the better thing to do would be to talk it over and find a solution rather than make a problem out if it! Also you could see the issues and still love your partner for he / she might be worth much more than a trifle little issue! Love is about patience and trust as the foundationA relationship is all about giving each other time and lending an assurance. Trust is another important element in a relationship as it acts as cement which holds it together during adverse times. Love is about keeping envy outIn love, at times is better for the 'I' to take a back seat. It is about 'we' and not about 'I'. So for the longevity of your relationship, sink elements such as envy and individual haughtiness! Love is about perseverance In case of true love, mistakes do happen but learning from mistakes is more important. At times, you would need to persevere to make amend to ensure that your love survives the test of times. Love is about hope and being true Love is about being true to yourself and to your partner. It is all about hope, hope that you would be there for your partner during the best and worst of times. Paribhasha Sachche Pyaar Ki… / परिभाषा सच्चे प्यार की… Samajh Gaya Hoon Arth Sache Pyaar Ka,Aao Samjha Doon Tumhe Bhi Sachche Pyar Ko Aaj…. Dhadkta Hai Dil Dekh Jise,Jor-jor Se Pahli Bar… Sanse Thamne Lagti Hai, Aur Zuba Lagti Hai Ladkhadane Jab, Dil Pana Chahta Ha Unhe ,Apnana Chahta Hai Unhe Bar-bar .... Yahi Jazba, Yahi Kissa Hai Pyaar …. Gar Unhe Aata Hai Mazaa Satane Mein Hi, Tum Bhi Sah Lena Unke Sitam .... Uff Bhi Na Nikle Jab Zuba Se Teri , Samajh Lena ”Sachcha Pyaar” Hai Yahi .... Dekh Kar Khush Unko , Milti Hai Khushi, Dekhkar Gam Unke Mann Ho Jata Hai Dukhi.... Bhar Aate Hai Aankh, Unke Yaadon Se Jab Hi, Jaan Lo “Sachcha Pyaar” Hai Yahi .... Lootaana Chahti Hai Unpe Hi Sari Khushi, Dekhna Chahti Hai Hoton Per Unke Sirf Hansee.... Chahe Zindagi Ho Jjye Teri Begair Hi Sahi, Samajhna ” Sachcha Pyaar” Hai Yahi ...... Jee Chahta Hai Jab Phool Bichha Doon Rahoon Mein Unke , Choon Loon Kanton Ko Raho Se Unke … Mar Bhi Jaaoo To Gum Nahin, Pehchaan Lo "Sachcha Pyaar" Hai Yahi …. Hokar Kareeb Unke Jab Door Rahna Ho Majboori, Paa Lena Hi Unhe, Ye Baat Nahi Hai Jaroori …. Khokar Bhi Unhe De Do Saari Khushi, Mai Kehta Hoon ”Sachha Pyaar” Hai Yahi .... Aasaan Hai Samjhaana Pyaar Ko Per Mushkil Hai , Isse Samajh Paana… Dube Bina, Pyaar Mein .... isliyein sahi kahatein hein ki? Pyar ek ehsaas hai ,ya abhivaykti hai bhavnao ki abhilasha hai dil ki ,ya trapti hai kamnao ki roshani hai deep ki ,ya dhoon hai sangeet ki dard hai geet ka ,ya yaad hai preet ki Chandni hai chand ki ,ya tapas hai aag ki bhav hai jajbat ka, ya tanhai hai rat ki tamnna hai ankho ki ,ya thirkan hai labo ki aparibhashit hai bhasha isaki, aarjoo hai sab ki || Kuch Arz Kiya Hein Meri Syeda ki Khidmat Mein--> ![]()
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